Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
