Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
