The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
