You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
