i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
