My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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