My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
