so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
