If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
