I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
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