Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
