Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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