Its about making memories worth repressing
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
