yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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