Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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