make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Holy shit dude........stairs
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
