Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
