I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
