I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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