God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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