The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
