Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
