Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
