She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
