my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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