So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
