Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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