Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
