toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
