My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
My pussy is not your playground.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
