I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
