I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize
