we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
That was an excessively violent trivia night
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
