Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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