i would punch a child for taco bell
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
this will be a night to untag.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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