Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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