so that wasnt chicken after all
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
