is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
