You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
