I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
