You're a womanizer and a bitch.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
