I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
