areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
