I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
