So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
