i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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