wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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