Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
