Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
