check it out our google latitudes are spooning
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
